don't trust the wings

Don’t trust the wings-

I am all down with finding powerful and creative ways for women to live safely. I struggle though with band aid solutions to personal safety.

The fingernail polish that is going to detect date-rape chemistry in your drink

or the latest sensation sweeping the ‘net, Angel Shots

Angel shots consist of a series of code phrases representing a specific drink at the bar. When you order a specific “shot” it tells the bartender you are in various types of trouble. One signals the need for a cab or Uber, one signals “call the cops”, another signals “I need an escort to my car”. I think there are a couple more in there, can’t remember.

And that is the one of a couple problems with calling on these wings to save you from a situation breaking bad. If I can’t remember after reading 3 different articles about it – and I am writing about it, am sober, not in a highly distracting environment, and not the least bit adrenalized - 

then a stressed, distracted, possibly intoxicated woman who hasn’t studied and rehearsed the drill isn’t going to remember the complex code either.

On the list of memory issues, the bartender needs to be up on the code as well. All the bartenders, actually. In all the bars. Everywhere. If Angel Shots are going to be truly useful you can’t expect me to remember the code names for all the different Angel Shots and remember which establishments they will work in while I am adrenalized, intoxicated, distracted, frightened –

It’s a nice idea, this code. The nail polish is a nice idea. To my knowledge, it’s still just an idea. You can’t buy the stuff.

Like band-aids on a 3 year old’s invisible boo-boo, nice ideas make us feel better. They don’t create useful change.

You’ll stop trying to get one over on me when I make it evident the consequences will cost you dearly (maybe - if you don't move on to an easier target then I have learned something important about my options). If my code words at the club make you nervous, you weren’t a real problem to begin with. Band-aids work crazy-well on invisible boo-boos.

Sexual assault is not an invisible boo-boo. Imaginary angels will not wing themselves down from the sky and shelter me from harm. Not going to wing down for you either. Rocks are hard, water is wet - fiction doesn't fix reality.

Don’t rely on angels and mood-ring fingernail polish you can’t yet buy. Don’t play make-believe when the stakes are real. And high.